Yet another busy day!

excited, nervous, prepared, think, speak, share, unprepared, scared, silly, frustrated, irritated, dissappointed, stressed, pleased, thoughtful, happy, concerned, insightful, open, appreciative, crazy, anxious, aggrivated, tired, inspired, driven, painful, pleasing, and Pleased!

REPUBLICAN DOES NOT MEAN CHRISTIAN BY DEFAULT - DAMN IT!

I have held onto my conservative republican beliefs because I thought that "they" stood for smaller government, less federal intrusion into our daily lives, freedom of religion, doing what is right not what is politically correct, valuing life from conception, protecting our borders, defending our freedom, liberating the oppressed, supporting those who want to help themselves, personal accounability, community responsibility, defending the constitution, and living life with an open mind and open heart.

However: I have recently been disgusted by my republican counterparts. I called a local conservative talkshow, hosted by an openly christian host but not a "christian" talk show. I was dissolusioned when I told him that I agreed with him that the Cross should be allowed to stay on the war memorial, I explained that I was a former christian and that I believe in the basic constitutional right of freedom of religion. Christians, Pagans, Islam, Buddists, Catholics, etc. should be allowed to proclaim their faith, have their symbols, have the right to gather, etc.

I stated that I would like to be able to have a full moon ritual in balboa park without controversy and felt that the situations were similar. but mr. dickhead christian said that I couldn't have my ritual without him being there thumping his bible. That pissed me off, I felt offended and ridiculed - EXACTLY THE THING I THOUGHT REPUBLICANS WERE AGAINST!

I don't go to his church and make fun of their ridiculous claims that God created the earth and man 5,000 years ago and even if we were "created" why would we be created to judge, tear apart and destroy eachothers beliefs. i don't go to his front door and spout my pagan beleifs. I valued his opinion even though it had a christian bias. Why isn't my Pagan opinion just as valued. you don't have to agree with me but you should respect my desire to believe differently. That is what America is about. FREEDOM,

then I heard some other talkshow host say that as republicans we should bestow the christian way of life or something stupid like that. Just because I am republican (for the moment) DOES NOT NECCISARILY DEFINE ME AS CHRISTIAN. Damn it. They are really pissing me off to the point that I might have to pull out my support of the republican party - REPUBLICAN DOES NOT MEAN CHRISTIAN AND IF IT DOES THEN I AM NO LONGER A REPUBLICAN DAMN IT!

My obituary

Obituary of Kymberley K. Page

November 15, 1967 to November 15, 2082

Survived by her 3 successful children: Jessica Carsey, major fashion buyer for Macy’s World Wide, Samantha Carsey, Teacher of the Year (5 years in a row) and master chef, and Rex Page, her only son, Owner operator of the most successful video game franchise in world history. As well as several grandchildren, her sister Ali (Mom of the year), her partner Jojo (world famous base jumper/skydiver), and a few hand picked friends around the world.

Kymberley overcame severe obstacles in life including: being raised in an alcoholic, drug addicted, mentally ill family, her own drug addiction and mental illness, two abusive marriages and the struggle of being a teenage mother. She used this past to change her future. She utilized all the resources available to her to make her life, and the lives of her children, a success in spite of her past.

Kymberley lead a long and happy life of sharing and learning all through out our world and even into some others. Her art has continued to progress and has received several awards from her peers. She has contributed more to the cultural Anthropological world then anyone in the last 50 years.

She died in her sleep after skydiving on her 115th birthday.

My Life Line

There have been many traumatic, and some wonderful events, in my life that I have not listed on my visual lifeline. I am choosing just to pick out the most significant for two reasons: I want to focus on the positive, and there is just simply not enough time. I have also left off, from the visual, my drug addicted years from age 13 to 26. There are several reasons for that which doesn’t really require explanation.

• 9 years old:
The death of my father was life altering, I had a very hard time accepting his death and conjured up the belief that he didn’t really die, he had just left me because I was bad. This thinking lead to a multitude of bad choices in the next 28 years of my life. I have finally come to accept that it was not by choice that he left my life, leading to the repair and restoration of that 9-year-old little girl.
• 16 years old:
I found out I was pregnant when I was 5 and 1/2 months along. There were several contributing factors to this phenomenon. Against the wishes of most everyone in my world I kept my son and have never abandoned him or my responsibility for him since. Having a child at 16 wasn’t really so bad, it was having a 5 year old at 21 that was difficult or a 15 year old at 31 that was harsh. He has grown into a wonderful man attending college for Video Game Production and working part-time to help support himself and our household.
• 18 years old
I was married to a “Rock Star”, that I had met in San Francisco while on vacation. The marriage lasted for 7 years and produced my two beautiful Daughters: Jessica and Samantha. The marriage ended when I stood up and would no longer allow the abuses to continue. We were divorced in 1993.
• 26 years old
Then I married a “jock” who I found out was a drug addict 2 weeks before our marriage yet continued with the wedding anyway thinking I would never find anyone else willing to take my three children and I. We ran from one state and one problem to another for the next 8 years. We were divorced in July 2002 when I returned home to my native southern California.
• 36 years old
I was in an accident on July 4th last year with my sister. I got 3 herniated discs, a torn meniscus in my right knee and lost my job. I have been on disability and welfare ever since. This is the first year since I was 16 that I have not worked full time in one capacity or another. This event has been life altering as well, forcing me to sit with myself and discover the woman in the mirror.
• I used my “down time” to discover every resource available to me to get my life back on track and truly build an independent, success filled life for myself. I have grown exponentially each day, as I continue on this path of self-discovery and improvement. I have never felt so “capable” and independent in my 37 years. This is truly a life-altering journey for me.





Page 1 (Cont.)
Kymberley Page

• 40 years old
The next milestone in my life is in two years when my youngest child turns 18, I turn 40, and I graduate from Palomar with an AA in either art or anthropology. I am planning on traveling the North and South American Continents in my 1967 Volkswagen camper bus or similarly small mobile home.
• I am going to transfer to UC Berkeley to continue my education and get a BA in Anthropology/Art. I will travel with the Renaissance fairs during my off time to sell my art and build my fan base.
• 42 years old
I will graduate from Berkeley in 2009 and begin my world travels. I intend to get my PhD from University of Hawaii in Cultural Anthropology.
• There are some places I intend to visit, but mostly I will just travel impulsively between my destinations. Some of my intended destinations are
o Visiting all the amusement parks in the world; I am a rollercoaster fanatic.
o I want to study the Mayan Culture and other South American peoples to discover why we know so little about their way of life and their history.
o I would like to spend some time in the desert in Sedona Arizona, as well as New Mexico, I have been drawn to these places ever since I took a train trip across the country when I was 17.
o Since I am also a fanatical Fairy Lover I would love to visit all the fairytale castles in Europe.

Currently overwhelmed

I have about 4 hours of homework to do everyday and it seems a bit much since I am not in the habit of going to school and having such deadlines. I feel like I have let my friend down that I told "Oh Yeah I can make you a website in a couple days no problem" It's been a month and I haven't even started other than deciding on how to do it.

School is going well I guess otherwise. I turned in my first big report this morning. I had to do a life line presentation from beginning to end. It was quite fun planning out the rest of my life with a magic wand. I hope to accomplish some of those goals that I set for myself. They seem pretty attainable.

Sam and I have been getting along pretty good. We had a blowout Saturday but then had a very long discussion after that. She seems to be able to come back to me at a later time and be very mature about trying to solve the inital issue. I had to explain to her how fragile I am and I don't think she like that. I am sure she wants a mom that is strong and invincible. - I am working on that.

We haven't recieved any cash aid for over a month - Cal/Works dropped me from their program because I supposedly hadn't turned in paperwork - yet when I turned in that paperwork last month it initiated additional payments so obviously I turned it in and it has been processed. So I got that figured out and hopefully tomorrow we can eat again.

I have decided (so far) to do my art report on Tolussee La Trec. I need to go to the Art Museum to do my report - However I have no idea when that is going to happen.

I miss going to my groups in San Diego :( Hopefully I can find a similar center up here.

I did a painting over the weekend that I am very very happy with. Cant wait till I have time to do more.