I rise before the sun

7:04 AM - I rise before the sun

I rise before the sun to welcome her to my world each morning. her warmth and energy exicte me and charge my senses. My view is beautiful, I carry it with me where ever I go. The birds sing to me, the snake comes to greet me, the owls protect me at night and the abundance of produce around me reminds me that our mother earth provides us with all our needs and sustanence. I am home now in my beautiful plot of paradise. I feel blessed by the Goddess.

I am having a difficult time adjusting to lack of funds during this transition, on one side I feel comfortable with my poverty living off the land and look forward to having nothing better to do than to play in the creek and walk through the orchards and enjoy my surroundings on the other side I feel sorrow and sadness that i do not have the funds to provide all that my children want/need. I havent had more than $20 at any one time over the last two months and there is no end to lack of funds until July after Sams birthday. If I can just get through Prom, graduation, 18th and 16th birthdays, braces, and drives to school then I will have the summer to enjoy.

I had to put off my gallery opening until July, I just haven't had the time or funds to complete what I feel is neccessary before I present my completed works to the world. Of course there are those that say I am just making excuses but I want my opening to reflect all that I am and that is just not possible on this time/money budget. I need to take care of my kids first.

I have been wanting to journal the thoughts and feeling that I have when I lay down and watch the world unfold to me each morning and night however I have really enjoyed just being in the moment and not escaping from it into my journal.