21 years

8:42 AM - 21 years

Once upon a time there was a little stoner chick (Tattel), she was in 8th grade, the captain of the cheerleading team and a true stoner at heart, she had a mom and a step dad and a pool in the backyard and lived in a pretty nice part of town. Then one day the evil sea hag decided that she didn't want that life any more and ripped the little girl from everything she knew and moved her to the yucky part of town in tiny little house and a new school (the rival school). This was not the first time that the sea hag had ripped Tattels life from her, The Sea hag had a long history of stealing Tattels world.

No one at the new school liked Tattel and since she didn't have a car she couldn't really keep in touch with the other friends besides she was embarrassed and sad because the evil sea hag had morphed again and was partying, getting drunk, hooking up with all sorts of people, doing unspeakable things and the little girl couldn't face all of her previous friends.

One day when she was walking home from school she met a really freaky looking group of boys, cute but freaky, with peacock blue Mohawk, big flock of seagulls hair, shaved heads, tri color heads, and they were all cute as hell. There was Doodle who was tall and blonde, he had a girlfriend and was always competing with Ezel but had a very special relationship with Tattel, he was very protective. And there was Razzle the cutest of them all but almost too cute, like a very pretty man but definitely MAN. And there were a couple of Joz; both became very good friends of Tattel in very different ways. One of the Joz was very feminine and he had a secret friendship with Tattel. They would discuss things that no one else could hear, Tattel loved Joz because she knew how tormented he was. The other Joz became one of Tattels favorite friends, he was a lot of fun and took Tattel on crazy rides on the motorcycle and even let Tattel drive it. He trusted Tattel with many things. They were in high school or seniors, they were cool and they were hot. The little girl started hanging out with them and getting high in the PR (party room). She fell in love with one of them, (Ezel) he was so sweet, funny, cute, and enough weird to keep her interested. This became her new world filled with all sorts of cool new people that welcomed Tattel into their world. One of the boys had a girlfriend that was really cool, she was funny too and had a very unique outlook on the world and she became the little girls best friend. They would write marathon letters to each other because Luna was older and went to high school too not the yucky junior high that Tattel went to. Luna was smart like Tattel and they would talk about life, the origins of the world, read books, and go for very long walks and talk for days on end.

Luna lived on the top of "snob hill", she had an older sister Lizella that was also one of the girlfriends of this group of really hot punks. Luna and Lizella had an older brother, Juno, was the ultimate in coolness because he had already graduated from school and was too cool for our crowd. The three of them lived in their beautiful 2-story home, with their parents. They had a yellow kitchen, a formal living room, they dressed for dinner and breakfast was on the table every morning when they woke up. It was Tattel’s fantasy to be adopted by them and live there forever. But Tattel knew that wasn't possible so she made a promise to herself that she would provide that lifestyle for her kids one day, even down to the yellow kitchen.

That summer was the greatest summer of Tattel’s life, she had a great group of friends, and Ezel's mother was kind and nurturing to Tattel, and Luna loved Tattel and would have done anything for her. Summers came and went and school came and went and Tattel tried as hard as she could to destroy everything good in her life. She hurt Ezel on several occasions, she lied to Luna to hide her jealousy, and she was lashing out at everything around her because her home life was so sad and lonely. Tattel ended up getting pregnant by an evil wizard, and she got into ugly drugs and was tearing her life apart. Ezel saw what was happening and tried to stop her. He declared his undying love for Tattel and tried everything he could to get the little girl to marry him and live happily ever after. But Tattel couldn't understand that love and she was mean to Ezel. Then she just disappeared. She didn’t ever see any of the punks again, she thought of them often. She wondered how they were doing, if they ever thought of her, why they never came after her and just let her slip away.

Tattel searched for them in the cyber world very often, she tried every name she could remember and always came up empty handed. This disturbed Tattel because these were the best group of people Tattel had ever known and Tattel had based all of her relationships off of these relationships. Tattel tried to model her life after Luna and Lizella’s life.

Finally Luna showed up in the cyber world and Tattel got in touch with her. Tattel was saddened by the stories that Luna had told her. There were so many heartbreaks, lost children, destroyed friendships, etc. Tattel couldn’t deal with that because Tattel had tried so very hard to live her life the best she could after the ugliness that she had brought to that group. This haunted Tattel for the next decade.

Tattel moved back to the southern pond about 18 years after she left. She would often drive up to the PR for the next two years but couldn’t get the nerve to knock on the door, last weekend when she was at a Pleasure Faire she couldn’t control the urge to visit them and face her past in order to move on in a more complete future. She wanted to know if Ezel's failed relationships were due to her indiscretion and abuse of their relationship and if she could do anything to fix it. She loved Ezel and wanted happiness and peace for him. She was haunted by this unsettled feeling.

So she found her motivation and got the nerve to knock………….And a new story begins!


The story is over Ezel is unreachable, Tattel spent a few days with ezel, he went back to the pleasure faire with her the following weekend and it was as if no time had passed and all was forgiven and forgotten. They played in the fields and walked and talked like old lovers would but there was a sadness. Ezel is comfortable in his addictions and has not found the power to overcome them. Tattel went to see him a couple of weeks later on his birthday. She gave him a copy of her creed.....Desertada.... he didn't get it....clouded by the addiction, she tried to reach his soul but it is scarred and seemingly unreachable. She was saddened and had to say goodbye all over again. The story has ended for now but hope remains that truth will reach him and the glory of life will return to his soul.

I miss you ed and hope that you are able to break through those walls and come out of your cave and experience the world again.