for my girls - should they ever take the time .....

Saturday, February 19, 2005

11:07 PM - for my girls - should they ever take the time ..... Current mood: melancholy the following is a ritual that I have adapted for my girls. They hate me right now, I put some very ugly negative shit on them yesterday. My delivery is horrible and painful. We don't communicate very well right now and I am empty without them. It's too quiet when they aren't yelling at me or eachother. I hope that they won't turn this off just because I said Ritual. How 'bout if I call it a prayer - what ever you call it - it can work if you believe for what you believe determines your experiences. if they believe that I am crazy and a horrible mother then that is all they will experience from me because they need to justify thier beliefs. If I believe that they hate me then that is what I experience, I experience thier dislike which justifies the belief that they hate me. So I have choosen to alter my reality, to believe that they love me and themselves and that we can grow up together happily ever after. KNOW what it is that you desire... Spend time think about your desire... Become intimate with that part of you that desires it... That part of you that knows you can have it... Deep within you lies a Knowing... A Knowing that it is your Destiny to have your hearts desire... Go deep...Know thyself...And without judgment... To thine own self be true.... BECOME aware as well, of that part of you that does not want it.... The Martyr...The Victim....The Long Suffering Struggler... Know that if that ugly part of you did not exist, you would probably already have your hearts desire... Know the possible "payoffs" that result in your not having your hearts desire. The "opportunity" to hold on to that anger, just a little bit longer... The "opportunity" to blame... Remember that in order to blame another for ruining your life... You must first have a ruined life. Remember as well that when you place blame on another.... You are in effect, placing your own power within the hands of another. Know and understand that the need to blame comes from a place of Powerlessness... Giving up blame is not about acceptance... Giving up blame is about Reclaiming Your Own Power.... Your Power To Choose! Go deep...Know thyself...And without judgment... To thine own self be true.... DO NOT dwell in the House of Judgment! Your purpose is not to pass judgment of right or wrong, But rather simply and without judgment, to acknowledge and own what lies within. Know and understand that your emotions, your feelings...are yours... You Do have a right to them...Whatever they may be! Emotions only become "negative" when they are repressed...ignored...denied... Know furthermore, that although you Do deserve, Success does not "run" on deservability, but rather on Choice. See what choices you have already been making.... Own those choices...acknowledge them... know that they are yours.... Know that the Power To Choose lies at the very core of your Being. Go deep...Know thyself...And without judgment... To thine own self be true.... NOW... from this Place of Power.... Knowing and understanding that the Choices really are yours to make.... have in fact been yours all along... Make the Choice to have your hearts desire! Declaring your desire with Confidence, Dignity and Clear and Precise Intent... Release it...Let it go...release it to the Universe... to the Hand of The Goddess Herself... Go deep...Know thyself...And without judgment... To thine own self be true.... Knowing that with every desire comes the means to make it happen, begin watching for the signs that tell you... YES...It is beginning....and watch it grow! Allow yourself to have it! As you will it....Blessed it Be! Most of this is taken from Sharon at the legacy of the cauldron and from harry Palmers Avatar course. I desire a happy, loving, kind and gentle relationship with my girls. I desire to be a good mother, a good daughter and a good sister. I desire their love, affection and appreciation. So may it Be! I love you girls and this silence is tearing me apart. If I hadn't made it happen, if you were just being nice and giving me some space I would probably love it but being avoided and having the house so quiet is unnerving and i miss the chaos that fills our lives. Currently listening: The Celtic Circle: Legendary Music from a Mystic World By Various Artists Release date: By 07 October, 2003